What do you think?
Rate this book
O Brother
John Niven’s little brother Gary was fearless, popular, stubborn, handsome, hilarious and sometimes terrifying. In 2010, after years of chaotic struggle against the world, he took his own life at the age of 42.
Hoping for the best while often witnessing the worst, John, his younger sister Linda and their mother, Jeanette, saw the darkest fears they had for Gary played out in drug deals, prison and bankruptcy. While his life spiralled downward and the love the Nivens’ shared was tested to its limit, John drifted into his own trouble in the music industry, a world where excess was often a marker of success.
Tracking the lives of two brothers in changing times – from illicit cans of lager in 70s sitting rooms to ecstasy in 90s raves – O Brother is a tender, affecting and often uproariously funny story. It is about the bonds of family and how we try to keep the finest of those we lose alive. It is about black sheep and what it takes to break the ties that bind. Fundamentally it is about how families survive suicide, ‘that last cry, from the saddest outpost.’
Hoping for the best while often witnessing the worst, John, his younger sister Linda and their mother, Jeanette, saw the darkest fears they had for Gary played out in drug deals, prison and bankruptcy. While his life spiralled downward and the love the Nivens’ shared was tested to its limit, John drifted into his own trouble in the music industry, a world where excess was often a marker of success.
Tracking the lives of two brothers in changing times – from illicit cans of lager in 70s sitting rooms to ecstasy in 90s raves – O Brother is a tender, affecting and often uproariously funny story. It is about the bonds of family and how we try to keep the finest of those we lose alive. It is about black sheep and what it takes to break the ties that bind. Fundamentally it is about how families survive suicide, ‘that last cry, from the saddest outpost.’
385 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 24, 2023
About the author
John Niven
39 books772 followersBorn in Irvine, Ayrshire, Niven read English Literature at Glasgow University, graduating in 1991 with First Class honours. For the next ten years, he worked for a variety of record companies, including London Records and Independiente. He left the music industry to write full time in 2002 and published his debut novella Music from Big Pink in 2005 (Continuum Press). The novella was optioned for the screen by CC Films with a script has been written by English playwright Jez Butterworth. Niven's breakthrough novel Kill Your Friends is a satire of the music business, based on his brief career in A&R, during which he passed up the chance to sign Coldplay and Muse. The novel was published by William Heinemann in 2008 and achieved much acclaim, with Word magazine describing it as "possibly the best British Novel since Trainspotting". It has been translated into seven languages and was a bestseller in Britain and Germany. Niven has since published The Amateurs (2009), The Second Coming (2011), Cold Hands (2012) and Straight White Male (2013).
He also writes original screenplays with writing partner Nick Ball, the younger brother of British TV presenter Zoë Ball. His journalistic contributions to newspapers and magazines include a monthly column for Q magazine, entitled "London Kills Me". In 2009 Niven wrote a controversial article for The Independent newspaper where he attacked the media's largely complacent coverage of Michael Jackson's death.
Niven lives in Buckinghamshire with his fiancee and infant daughter. He has a teenage son from a previous marriage.
He also writes original screenplays with writing partner Nick Ball, the younger brother of British TV presenter Zoë Ball. His journalistic contributions to newspapers and magazines include a monthly column for Q magazine, entitled "London Kills Me". In 2009 Niven wrote a controversial article for The Independent newspaper where he attacked the media's largely complacent coverage of Michael Jackson's death.
Niven lives in Buckinghamshire with his fiancee and infant daughter. He has a teenage son from a previous marriage.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
September 10, 2023
How do you review something so deeply personal? I don’t think I can do that.
So instead I thank the author for the honesty and the courage it took to put yourself, your family and your story on the display for people to read and pick at.
Heartbreaking yet so beautiful.
So instead I thank the author for the honesty and the courage it took to put yourself, your family and your story on the display for people to read and pick at.
Heartbreaking yet so beautiful.
August 29, 2023
I could never do justice to this book. It has been a life changing experience that has allowed me to make so much sense of so many things. I am grateful for its being. Simply perfect, life.
September 10, 2023
John Niven's best book to date. A modern classic
September 6, 2023
This visceral memoir got me right in the feels. As someone who has lost a close family member to suicide recently I connected so deeply with the questioning and the conversations never had but imagined. Beautiful book
September 4, 2023
I tend to only review the books I have loved and this is definitely one of them. It’s a beautifully-written memoir which covers growing up in the west of Scotland in the 1970’s and 1980’s in a way which I found jarringly reminiscent of my own childhood. There’s more, though.
Structure is, as Niven repeats, everything and this is a beautifully-written book which is about writing as much as anything else. Echoes and callbacks through the book show the care that he’s taken to tell the story and (unsurprising for anyone who has read his fiction), the author is unsparing as he examines his own behaviour and motivations.
Just a stunning book. Universal and local. About men and about families. About a generation who are all around us but we don’t really know. Read it and weep.
Structure is, as Niven repeats, everything and this is a beautifully-written book which is about writing as much as anything else. Echoes and callbacks through the book show the care that he’s taken to tell the story and (unsurprising for anyone who has read his fiction), the author is unsparing as he examines his own behaviour and motivations.
Just a stunning book. Universal and local. About men and about families. About a generation who are all around us but we don’t really know. Read it and weep.
December 19, 2023
I absolutely loved this book.
As a reader of John’s previous books and a massive fan of his social media output I’ve known him to be a very sharp and funny guy but this memoir discussed another, terribly sad, element of his life - his relationship with his brother Gary who died from suicide.
The book had many funny stories about growing up in Irvine and his life in music industry but I think my takeaway from it will be how traumatic it can be trying to help a troubled relative. How, after everything he done to try to help his brother he couldn’t save him. I think anybody who loses somebody they love to suicide will know that feeling. “Maybe if I’d done this or that”. The phrase from book he used was “Maybe, maybe, maybe. The Chernobyl of the soul”. So true.
Tremendous
As a reader of John’s previous books and a massive fan of his social media output I’ve known him to be a very sharp and funny guy but this memoir discussed another, terribly sad, element of his life - his relationship with his brother Gary who died from suicide.
The book had many funny stories about growing up in Irvine and his life in music industry but I think my takeaway from it will be how traumatic it can be trying to help a troubled relative. How, after everything he done to try to help his brother he couldn’t save him. I think anybody who loses somebody they love to suicide will know that feeling. “Maybe if I’d done this or that”. The phrase from book he used was “Maybe, maybe, maybe. The Chernobyl of the soul”. So true.
Tremendous
December 30, 2023
This a frank, brave, devastating memoir. The author lost his brother to suicide in 2010. The brother, Gary, was 42 when he died and had led a troubled life. This book is full of “what ifs” and “whys” and the guilt felt when you just can’t help someone.
Amazingly, it is not all doom and gloom and as the author reminisces you will find yourself laughing out loud in places.
This book opened my eyes. I applaud John Niven for sharing such a personal, tragic story.
Amazingly, it is not all doom and gloom and as the author reminisces you will find yourself laughing out loud in places.
This book opened my eyes. I applaud John Niven for sharing such a personal, tragic story.
January 4, 2024
John Niven was already one of my favourite authors, but I was not expecting this. O Brother is an incredible book. It's funny and nostalgic, but also devastating, heartbreaking and deeply affecting. This book will stay with me a long time.
January 6, 2024
Loved this book. Have enjoyed many John Niven books and found every second of this book raw, real and so very moving. Thank you for sharing your story John.
February 25, 2024
Such a good, yet heartbreaking read.
March 13, 2024
Incredibly well written and honest
March 5, 2024
Some while ago I read Andrew O’Hagan’s book Mayflies. Those who have read it will remember the vivid scenes of Jimmy and Tully, Scottish lads who we meet on the verge of their big weekend away to Manchester with mates to the festival of the Tenth Summer at the G-Mex centre in Manchester. There was a lineup consisting of “the Fall, New Order, the Smiths … a nuclear fuckfest of musical talent”. When I read it I knew that the writer had experienced much that the lads of that novel are thrown into.
The author of Mayflies appears on the periphery of this memoir – he is part of a group of friends from the west coast of Scotland that writer John Niven and his brother Gary belong to. This book, like Mayflies, immerses the reader in music and the culture of the time and place – the energy of it is notable. Both deal with the trajectory of a young man who dies early – but in this case – its not a matter of fiction. John get a phone call to say that his younger brother Gary, who was 42, was in the intensive care unit of the local hospital in Irvine, Ayrshire. He had rung the emergency services in the early hours saying he was depressed and had been trying to kill himself. An ambulance crew arrived 14 minutes later and took him to hospital where he was triaged as non-urgent and put in a room by himself. While waiting for a doctor to arrive, Gary again attempted suicide. When John get the call, Gary is in an induced coma.
I selected this book from the library because of the image on its cover – I knew nothing about it but the image was redolent of the era I grew up in.
We first meet Gary aged four as his mother is struggling to get him into a jumper. Having been rugby-tackled to the floor, Gary is writhing on the carpet, banging his legs and “screaming like a heretic on the rack”. He does not like the texture of the jumper “too jabby”. Nowadays, you might think that he may have a neurodivergent condition – often textures are problematic for these kids. But no one knew much about that stuff when Gary was a kid.
Here is John’s description of his brother ”…he was fearless and small and these are the guys who sometimes get adopted by the gang as the mascot, as the guy who marches at the head, the looney who will do anything, which, when you’re 13, 14, doing daft boy stuff, that’s not such a big thing. But when you’re behaving like that when you’re in your late 30s … that can lead you into some very dangerous scenarios in life, as it did for Gary” Gary could “start a fight in an empty house”, his father tries to beat the bad behaviour out of him, while his grandmother calls him “a bad wee stick”. I’ve taught lots of kids like Gary. Niven is trying to explore why it is that one brother [John]should be born with the social and intellectual skills to thrive, while the other could do little more than survive (and eventually was unable to do that). Apart from the family’s early categorisation of Gary as ‘trouble’, and his niche as the risk-taker in his peer group, the one thing that seemed to really impact negatively on him was this. ““The seismic event of Gary’s life, the ground zero, was Dad dying suddenly when they were at war. The regret, the unspoken love of that was what powered Gary through the second act of his life. “ (https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/2...) Gary was unable to connect with his dad when he was alive and this seemed to have a profound impact on him.
The book is very strong on what it is to live with “chaotic family members”. One reviewer comments: “those people for whom rules don’t apply, and around whom life revolves, managed by ageing parents and siblings for years with love and despair. “It is very draining, and they tend to be the loudest, angriest voices in the room.” He compares arguing with his brother to watching Donald Trump: “The three-second memory span, the imperviousness to logic and truth, the utter shamelessness, the way you end up getting sucked on to their playing field, where you’re having to fight to defend the utterly self-evident.” The last words he spoke to his brother, when both were healthy, were “just f**k off”.” (https://www.newstatesman.com/the-week...)
Niven is clear about his own sense of guilt and shame. Could he have done more to help Gary? Probably, though the outcome would probably have been the same. Did his death bring a sense of relief? It’s complicated. It’s a book about grief and anger and family and pain. And love. I especially loved the dialogue which renders Gary’s words, and those of many others in the novel into a Sottish brogue that really jumps off the page.
The author of Mayflies appears on the periphery of this memoir – he is part of a group of friends from the west coast of Scotland that writer John Niven and his brother Gary belong to. This book, like Mayflies, immerses the reader in music and the culture of the time and place – the energy of it is notable. Both deal with the trajectory of a young man who dies early – but in this case – its not a matter of fiction. John get a phone call to say that his younger brother Gary, who was 42, was in the intensive care unit of the local hospital in Irvine, Ayrshire. He had rung the emergency services in the early hours saying he was depressed and had been trying to kill himself. An ambulance crew arrived 14 minutes later and took him to hospital where he was triaged as non-urgent and put in a room by himself. While waiting for a doctor to arrive, Gary again attempted suicide. When John get the call, Gary is in an induced coma.
I selected this book from the library because of the image on its cover – I knew nothing about it but the image was redolent of the era I grew up in.
We first meet Gary aged four as his mother is struggling to get him into a jumper. Having been rugby-tackled to the floor, Gary is writhing on the carpet, banging his legs and “screaming like a heretic on the rack”. He does not like the texture of the jumper “too jabby”. Nowadays, you might think that he may have a neurodivergent condition – often textures are problematic for these kids. But no one knew much about that stuff when Gary was a kid.
Here is John’s description of his brother ”…he was fearless and small and these are the guys who sometimes get adopted by the gang as the mascot, as the guy who marches at the head, the looney who will do anything, which, when you’re 13, 14, doing daft boy stuff, that’s not such a big thing. But when you’re behaving like that when you’re in your late 30s … that can lead you into some very dangerous scenarios in life, as it did for Gary” Gary could “start a fight in an empty house”, his father tries to beat the bad behaviour out of him, while his grandmother calls him “a bad wee stick”. I’ve taught lots of kids like Gary. Niven is trying to explore why it is that one brother [John]should be born with the social and intellectual skills to thrive, while the other could do little more than survive (and eventually was unable to do that). Apart from the family’s early categorisation of Gary as ‘trouble’, and his niche as the risk-taker in his peer group, the one thing that seemed to really impact negatively on him was this. ““The seismic event of Gary’s life, the ground zero, was Dad dying suddenly when they were at war. The regret, the unspoken love of that was what powered Gary through the second act of his life. “ (https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/2...) Gary was unable to connect with his dad when he was alive and this seemed to have a profound impact on him.
The book is very strong on what it is to live with “chaotic family members”. One reviewer comments: “those people for whom rules don’t apply, and around whom life revolves, managed by ageing parents and siblings for years with love and despair. “It is very draining, and they tend to be the loudest, angriest voices in the room.” He compares arguing with his brother to watching Donald Trump: “The three-second memory span, the imperviousness to logic and truth, the utter shamelessness, the way you end up getting sucked on to their playing field, where you’re having to fight to defend the utterly self-evident.” The last words he spoke to his brother, when both were healthy, were “just f**k off”.” (https://www.newstatesman.com/the-week...)
Niven is clear about his own sense of guilt and shame. Could he have done more to help Gary? Probably, though the outcome would probably have been the same. Did his death bring a sense of relief? It’s complicated. It’s a book about grief and anger and family and pain. And love. I especially loved the dialogue which renders Gary’s words, and those of many others in the novel into a Sottish brogue that really jumps off the page.
October 14, 2023
This powerful, unforgettable memoir opens with the author receiving a phone call to tell him that his younger brother Gary is in a coma after trying to commit suicide by hanging himself. We then jump back in time to look at their respective childhoods, as the author tries to pinpoint what went wrong. How did he emerge as a successful writer, with a wife and children and a good income, while Gary went off the rails? It seems that from an early age, Gary was labelled as ‘the bad one’ and frequently beaten by their father for insolent behaviour, and when you stigmatise someone that way, they tend to live up to it. I also wondered if there was a clue in the fact that Gary couldn’t bear to wear ‘jaggy socks’ as a child; sensitivity to rough textures can be an autism trait, but back in the 1970s the diagnosis was much less common than it is now, so Gary was left to struggle on his own.
The family grew up in Irvine, not far from where my own family lived, and I shared many of the cultural references: the sweets, the toys, the patterned carpets, the food, and later the Glasgow nightclubs. But this is a universal story about family dynamics and young men growing up and making different choices. Gary drifted into drinking, drug-taking and drug-dealing; John got into the music industry and consumed plenty of pharmaceuticals himself, but had the strength and self-belief to pull out before addiction swallowed him up. Gary, on the other hand, went bankrupt, spent time in prison, just as his dad had always predicted he would, and didn’t ever manage to get in control of his life. John, his sister Linda, and particularly his mother, all tried to help, but when Gary begged John for money shortly before his suicide attempt, John refused, and this would come to haunt him.
How do you deal with a brother like Gary? No matter how much you give, he will always need more, and meantime you risk getting dragged into his chaos. We are hearing his story from John’s point of view but I desperately wanted Gary to find the support he needed and was often moved to tears by his plight. It’s an honest, beautifully written book that is sometimes funny, sometimes devastating, but always gripping, and I urge you to read it.
The family grew up in Irvine, not far from where my own family lived, and I shared many of the cultural references: the sweets, the toys, the patterned carpets, the food, and later the Glasgow nightclubs. But this is a universal story about family dynamics and young men growing up and making different choices. Gary drifted into drinking, drug-taking and drug-dealing; John got into the music industry and consumed plenty of pharmaceuticals himself, but had the strength and self-belief to pull out before addiction swallowed him up. Gary, on the other hand, went bankrupt, spent time in prison, just as his dad had always predicted he would, and didn’t ever manage to get in control of his life. John, his sister Linda, and particularly his mother, all tried to help, but when Gary begged John for money shortly before his suicide attempt, John refused, and this would come to haunt him.
How do you deal with a brother like Gary? No matter how much you give, he will always need more, and meantime you risk getting dragged into his chaos. We are hearing his story from John’s point of view but I desperately wanted Gary to find the support he needed and was often moved to tears by his plight. It’s an honest, beautifully written book that is sometimes funny, sometimes devastating, but always gripping, and I urge you to read it.
September 13, 2023
As a retrospective, introspective exploration of a sibling relationship this is coloured by its tragic ending from the start. Every anecdote, every memory, foreshadows the horrific, heartrending conclusion that we come to feel is inevitable. It felt a bit like being a passenger on the 'Titanic'. For the writer, with his 20/20 hindsight - not withstanding the many questions that continue to plague him, and all his self-recriminations - this is a painful journey reconstructed with harrowing honesty. Some of the scenes he recounts are shockingly grim, but I suspect most families have similarly terrible episodes which - especially when those involved are children - cause lifelong damage. As someone in the writer's age bracket and social class, I could relate to many of the cultural references - but not being Scottish, not being a guy and not knowing any of the bands he dedicates a large segment of his life story to, I struggled quite a bit with all the tedious details about the ups and downs of the music business. In fact this is a memoir as much about the writer as his brother, and there were parts where Gary Niven seemed not to matter much as David became preoccupied with his own life and career trajectory. This probably reflects exactly what happened. Gary just faded from view sometimes. I have two other gripes. This is a very male-oriented book. The female characters - wives, girlfriends, Niven's sister, and the boys' long-suffering mother - only appear as cliches in two-dimensions. Yes, the author feels sorry for them, and protective, but they just hover in the background without substance. The other is the excruciating Scottish dialogue associated with Gary. While David is educated, urban and English sounding, Gary comes across as a very limited, aggressive, irrational and stereotypical Glaswegian. Perhaps this is how he was and goes some way to explain how conflicted the writer is about their relationship, but it often felt patronising and unfair.
April 1, 2024
John und Gary. Zwei Brüder. Zwei Leben, die unterschiedlicher nicht sein könnten. Geboren in Irvine, einer schottischen Kleinstadt, setzt John, der Ältere, alles daran, diese zu verlassen. Guter Schüler, Studium in Glasgow, Karriere in der Musikindustrie, erfolgreicher Schriftsteller. Alles paletti. Ganz anders Gary, das schwarze Schaf, der den Absprung nicht schafft. Von Anfang an ein schwieriges Kind, unangepasst, eigensinnig, zornig. Er überfordert die Familie, woraufhin insbesondere der Vater immer öfter zuschlägt. Gary kehrt der Familie den Rücken, gleitet ab, strauchelt, rappelt sich wieder auf, gerät auf die schiefe Bahn, macht Schulden, bittet seinen Bruder um Hilfe, was dieser ablehnt, und begeht schließlich mit 42 Jahren Selbstmord.
John möchte verstehen und nutzt dafür die Mittel, die er beherrscht. Er schreibt. Schreibt sich die Trauer von der Seele, erinnert sich in „O Brother“ an Situationen aus der gemeinsamen Vergangenheit. An Situation der Nähe, aber auch an die schwierigen Zeiten. An Liebe und Unverständnis. An Zeiten, in denen sie gemeinsame Wege gegangen sind. An Höhen und Tiefen, bis jeder von ihnen in einen andere Richtung abgebogen ist.
Ein ungeschönter Rückblick, bei dem sich auch Niven nicht schont. In welcher Situation hat er falsch reagiert, was hätte er besser machen können? Wo hat die Familie versagt? Das Elternhaus, in dem seitens des Vaters das Verständnis für den „Missratenen“ fehlt und Prügel an der Tagesordnung sind?
John Nivens Erinnerungen an seinen Bruder Gary setzen diesem ein Denkmal .Zwar gibt es durchaus auch, wie wir es von dem Autor kennen, schwarzhumorige Passagen in „O Brother“, aber dennoch ist dieses Memoir über weite Strecken herzzerreißend, das unvergessliche Porträt einer Geschwisterbeziehung. Große Leseempfehlung.
John möchte verstehen und nutzt dafür die Mittel, die er beherrscht. Er schreibt. Schreibt sich die Trauer von der Seele, erinnert sich in „O Brother“ an Situationen aus der gemeinsamen Vergangenheit. An Situation der Nähe, aber auch an die schwierigen Zeiten. An Liebe und Unverständnis. An Zeiten, in denen sie gemeinsame Wege gegangen sind. An Höhen und Tiefen, bis jeder von ihnen in einen andere Richtung abgebogen ist.
Ein ungeschönter Rückblick, bei dem sich auch Niven nicht schont. In welcher Situation hat er falsch reagiert, was hätte er besser machen können? Wo hat die Familie versagt? Das Elternhaus, in dem seitens des Vaters das Verständnis für den „Missratenen“ fehlt und Prügel an der Tagesordnung sind?
John Nivens Erinnerungen an seinen Bruder Gary setzen diesem ein Denkmal .Zwar gibt es durchaus auch, wie wir es von dem Autor kennen, schwarzhumorige Passagen in „O Brother“, aber dennoch ist dieses Memoir über weite Strecken herzzerreißend, das unvergessliche Porträt einer Geschwisterbeziehung. Große Leseempfehlung.
October 15, 2023
Premise 1: I have said this many times that sometimes you feel lucky and encounter a book by chance and you feel blessed you did. I was searching on the net about Ian Rankin and his talks in Edinburgh. I come across a talk of his as part of John Niven's new book tour. So I ended up looking up what O Brother was about. And I was intrigued, so here I am.
Premise 2: This book deals with suicide, addiction and the devestating effects it leaves on its victims (the addicts themselves and their families). It makes for a harrowing read at times. So if you are sensitive about the subjects, I would warn you to tread lightly.
John Niven's younger brother Gary committed suicide at age 42 in August 2010 after a long history with addiction, violence, depression and cluster headaches. Taking this dramatic episode as starting point (and end point: final chapter makes for one of the hardest reads in literature and I must admit that even tears formed in my eyes), Niven reflects on his own life with its highs and many lows, and the relationship between all members of the Niven family. A memoir which asks a lot of questions: why? could we have acted differently? how much do our actions as adults leave an impact on our children?
One of the best memoirs ever read.
Premise 2: This book deals with suicide, addiction and the devestating effects it leaves on its victims (the addicts themselves and their families). It makes for a harrowing read at times. So if you are sensitive about the subjects, I would warn you to tread lightly.
John Niven's younger brother Gary committed suicide at age 42 in August 2010 after a long history with addiction, violence, depression and cluster headaches. Taking this dramatic episode as starting point (and end point: final chapter makes for one of the hardest reads in literature and I must admit that even tears formed in my eyes), Niven reflects on his own life with its highs and many lows, and the relationship between all members of the Niven family. A memoir which asks a lot of questions: why? could we have acted differently? how much do our actions as adults leave an impact on our children?
One of the best memoirs ever read.
October 28, 2023
I am a big fan of John Niven and his absurd and hilarious plots. But this time it is very different as he turns his attention to something monumental in his own life. The suicide of his brother. It is an intense roller coaster of a story, pulling on all manner of emotions.
Quite how he managed to inject humour in to a story of despair is incredible.
It think it resonates with me as I was born in the same year and also have a younger brother. Some of the stories of growing up are the same, the inherent daftness of it all.
But the parts about the impact of drugs on the ecstasy generation are stark. Exploring the role his father played can be at times a difficult read.
Its a story about helplessness versus anger, about guilt and denial.
The final chapter where suicide is re-imagined through his brothers perspective is harrowing and had me in tears.
But in darkness there is light. The scene where Mum moves to her new house, surrounded by the next generation. Families finding ways to replenish and renew.
This must have been a very emotional book to read, and I applaud him for doing it.
Quite how he managed to inject humour in to a story of despair is incredible.
It think it resonates with me as I was born in the same year and also have a younger brother. Some of the stories of growing up are the same, the inherent daftness of it all.
But the parts about the impact of drugs on the ecstasy generation are stark. Exploring the role his father played can be at times a difficult read.
Its a story about helplessness versus anger, about guilt and denial.
The final chapter where suicide is re-imagined through his brothers perspective is harrowing and had me in tears.
But in darkness there is light. The scene where Mum moves to her new house, surrounded by the next generation. Families finding ways to replenish and renew.
This must have been a very emotional book to read, and I applaud him for doing it.
January 10, 2024
This wasn't an easy read at times as John describes the moment his brother Gary takes his own life in an empty hospital room after being admitted because he was experiencing suicidal ideation. It was a tender and beautiful exploration of trying to understand what went wrong with his brother and the author's own guilt and regret that he could have done more to help or prevent his brother's death.
I am a suicide survivor and I know when I tried to end my own life at thirteen that I didn't want to die; I only wanted the pain to end.
Even though this was incredibly sad there were also moments that me smile and laugh as John reveals their childhood escapades and brings his brother to life on the page with his beautiful way with words. Almost two memoirs in one as he also describes his own journey from the music world to publishing.
Such a raw and painful memoir but also filled with love
"O brother -was it just about the money? Come back. Give me five minutes. We can work something out. This can't be it. There were things I needed to say"
"I do not know enough about suicide and depression yet (I'll know a lot more later, when the information is of no use to me)"
I am a suicide survivor and I know when I tried to end my own life at thirteen that I didn't want to die; I only wanted the pain to end.
Even though this was incredibly sad there were also moments that me smile and laugh as John reveals their childhood escapades and brings his brother to life on the page with his beautiful way with words. Almost two memoirs in one as he also describes his own journey from the music world to publishing.
Such a raw and painful memoir but also filled with love
"O brother -was it just about the money? Come back. Give me five minutes. We can work something out. This can't be it. There were things I needed to say"
"I do not know enough about suicide and depression yet (I'll know a lot more later, when the information is of no use to me)"
February 6, 2024
Brilliant (family) biography from a writer I have long enjoyed.
John Niven tells the story of his younger brother's suicide at the age of 42. If you know the author, you know what to expect - unflinching, angry, honest, darkly amusing.
In alternating chapters, it details the "present" - his brother self harming, calling an ambulance and then hanging himself in hospital whilst left unsupervised. The past charts the family history, deeply working class in Irvine Scotland as mom, dad and the three kids create a life. Niven makes its as much about him as his brother, charting his flirtation with indie pop stardom in the Wishing Stones and his burgeoning writing career.
There's a lot of rage and guilt as to whether he could have done more for a man who couldn't really help himself. His brother had never taken responsibility for his own life and lived hand to mouth, in and out of prison, minor ned gangster. Deeply sobering towards the end of the book when all of his brother's gang of late 80s ravers are dead - cancer, heart attacks, suicides. The generation that embraced "just do what you want to do, as long as it makes you happy".
And John's poor mom.
John Niven tells the story of his younger brother's suicide at the age of 42. If you know the author, you know what to expect - unflinching, angry, honest, darkly amusing.
In alternating chapters, it details the "present" - his brother self harming, calling an ambulance and then hanging himself in hospital whilst left unsupervised. The past charts the family history, deeply working class in Irvine Scotland as mom, dad and the three kids create a life. Niven makes its as much about him as his brother, charting his flirtation with indie pop stardom in the Wishing Stones and his burgeoning writing career.
There's a lot of rage and guilt as to whether he could have done more for a man who couldn't really help himself. His brother had never taken responsibility for his own life and lived hand to mouth, in and out of prison, minor ned gangster. Deeply sobering towards the end of the book when all of his brother's gang of late 80s ravers are dead - cancer, heart attacks, suicides. The generation that embraced "just do what you want to do, as long as it makes you happy".
And John's poor mom.
February 10, 2024
I first became aware of this book last year, and was keen to read given that the author is also from my hometown of Irvine. (I also realised that I have one of his fiction books on my TBR so will hopefully get to that soon, too!)
This book is a memoir about the love and loss of his brother. John’s brother Gary was blue-lighted to hospital in 2010 for psychiatric help after admitting suicidal thoughts, but was tragically left alone in A&E where he attempted to take his own life. He was resuscitated and placed into an induced coma but never recovered.
This book details John and his family growing up, growing apart and making bad decisions. It was clearly cathartic for the author and a bit of a love letter to his home and family.
I listened to the audiobook and had the surreal experience of driving along a street the author mentioned just as he mentioned it. I loved hearing about my town before my time and especially the local pronunciation of certain words.
This is a tragically sad story and the last chapter is hard hitting. A very thought provoking book about a young, wasted life.
This book is a memoir about the love and loss of his brother. John’s brother Gary was blue-lighted to hospital in 2010 for psychiatric help after admitting suicidal thoughts, but was tragically left alone in A&E where he attempted to take his own life. He was resuscitated and placed into an induced coma but never recovered.
This book details John and his family growing up, growing apart and making bad decisions. It was clearly cathartic for the author and a bit of a love letter to his home and family.
I listened to the audiobook and had the surreal experience of driving along a street the author mentioned just as he mentioned it. I loved hearing about my town before my time and especially the local pronunciation of certain words.
This is a tragically sad story and the last chapter is hard hitting. A very thought provoking book about a young, wasted life.
April 19, 2024
This was chosen for my book club and I really didn’t want to read it. I thought it would be deeply depressing. Instead it was a celebration of a chaotic life, an examination of the surviving brother’s guilt, a fascinating insight into family dynamics at a certain time - and a call for better care for those who, like the author’s brother, fall through the gaps in the system. It took three Freedom of Information requests for him to see the transcript of his brother’s 999 call, which clearly proved suicidal tendencies/fears. The attempted cover-up by the hospital was shocking.
Through it all, the author’s deep love for his mother shines through and her enjoyment of an easy old age, thanks to his literary success, was a happy result in a troubling but very enjoyable book.
Through it all, the author’s deep love for his mother shines through and her enjoyment of an easy old age, thanks to his literary success, was a happy result in a troubling but very enjoyable book.
September 27, 2023
Brutal, beautiful, devastating. A memoir reflecting the two very different lives of two Scottish brothers: the narrator who made it big in the music industry before becoming a successful author, the other who killed himself after a life spent battling addiction. Niven brings humour to the grimness but not to deflect - just to tell the story in as true to life fashion as he can. The snapshot memories of the good times with his wee brother make up a tiny fraction of the story, but shimmer through the dark.
October 8, 2023
An extraordinarily powerful book about the brutal “half-life of suicide” and the “Chernobyl of the soul” that is visited upon families left to pick up the pieces after the suicide of a loved one. Yet, despite its dark subject matter, in recounting the life of his troubled younger brother, John Niven is – perhaps paradoxically – frequently hilarious, and manages to mine the moments of joy from a life of turmoil.
November 3, 2023
It's raw and unflinching. Unsettling at times in its honesty. A truly candid book about the emotions, thoughts, and feelings you have over those family members who are deeply troubled and deep in trouble. What to do? How to help? In discussing his relationship with his brother Gary, Niven says the things I think so many of us ponder about our own fraught relationships with loved ones but are often too scared to admit even to ourselves.
November 15, 2023
As others have said, it took great bravery for the author to write this, putting his family history out there for everyone to read. Desperately sad at times but insightful and definitely not for readers who are easily offended. I was in tears at times and the last chapter finished me off. A cliche but this is a must read for lots of people; families, sibling issues, suicide; these are important themes that form the core of the book. Highly recommend.
September 15, 2023
Perhaps not the best book to read while in hospital following the birth of your daughter, but wow, what a beautiful testament to the challenge that can come with loving family. An amazing, heartfelt and self reflective exploration of Niven’s family relationships and also loved the insight into Niven’s career in the music industry of the 90s
February 26, 2024
This was a fantastic read, though an emotional one. I’ve been a fan of John Niven’s fiction (and Twitter account) for many years so to read this memoir (or part memoir ?) was fascinating. Though of course the core of the book is his brother’s story, which was deeply honest, unflinching, at times hilarious but also heartbreaking.
October 9, 2023
The most powerfull book I have read in a long time
I laughed and cried in equal amounts. The description of the effects of suicide
on a family so elegantly described by John Niven It is a tough read at times but I would I would really
recommend this book.
I laughed and cried in equal amounts. The description of the effects of suicide
on a family so elegantly described by John Niven It is a tough read at times but I would I would really
recommend this book.
October 10, 2023
Outstanding work
How brave to write this but I get the feeling that it was cathartic too. Coming from a nearby town, in the same era, enjoying similar interests, made it feel familar, and I feel.guilty for enjoying the book.
A great tribute to Gary.
How brave to write this but I get the feeling that it was cathartic too. Coming from a nearby town, in the same era, enjoying similar interests, made it feel familar, and I feel.guilty for enjoying the book.
A great tribute to Gary.
November 24, 2023
Utterly brilliant and totally devasting. The most emotional reading experience I think I've ever had. Very difficult keeping it together. Beautifully written, very candid and brutally honest in places. Just an exceptionally good, if challenging, read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews