And now, with all the charm of the prior owner of a house featured in a horror movie, Alec Baldwin would like to sell you a house in the Hamptons. The actor’s real-estate firm, Saunders & Associates, posted a video on January 16 featuring him regaling potential sellers (and the rest of us, watching with perplexed and slightly horrified faces) of the story of his time out East. It begins with Baldwin walking, solitary, across the beach — no second set of footprints — stage-whispering. “When you’re young, this place is the best,” he says vaguely. Then, one headache-inducing loop the loop of a cut later, he’s telling us the story of his property ownership on Amagansett, Long Island. He then tells the tale of how he made his mansion even more mega by building two separate additions on the vast tracts of land that come with the property. There’s a solemnity to Baldwin’s presentation, as if the only reason he’s selling the place is to make up for some prolonged legal fees.
Baldwin doesn’t smile until the end of the video. He doesn’t even tease a smirk when mentioning Hilaria. A sign of a man who’s hiding something from new potential owners? The estate is currently listed at $18,995,000, perhaps with that last $5,000 knocked off as a condolence. “I’m always happiest when I come here, especially this time of year,” Baldwin says, finally eking out a smile. “In the wintertime.” Is he really trying to sell this thing? Because there’s little to no trace of the charming Jack Donaghy here. If Alec Baldwin really needs some viral publicity, he could just give the property back to the Montaukett.
